berlin dinner club | past events
Dinner Club Night at Wooloomooloo, 22 Aug 2002
What do you call an Australian with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other? Bisexual. (Er, no offence, mates.)
Anyway, that was just to get you into the mood for this month's dinner at Wooloomooloo at Röntgenstr. 7, 10587 Berlin. We are looking for a largish bunch of people this time as the folks at Le Monde du Vin are insisting that we drink a couple of dozen bottles of their best wine for free (12 whites & 12 reds). And they are bringing some of their good stuff as well, as each bottle is around 30 EUR+ each at restaurant prices. So please do mosey over and try them. And why not? The dinner is scheduled for the 22nd August, around 2030, and if you want to come along, just send me an email asap at email@example.com OR firstname.lastname@example.org. First come, first served, as usual, and all the lucky ones that make the list gets details of where to meet and a map.
Um, I've found out that the restaurant is normally quite expensive, so if it is OK with everyone, I have actually organised a sit down table buffet as this will reduce the cost by quite a lot. For this, you get a range of exotic dishes, finger foods, meats and vegetables for both starters and the main course. Any vegetarians will probably have to order a la carte (but it's not that expensive). The price per person is now down to 20 EUR, which is pretty cool, considering that a normal meat dish there costs 16 EUR by itself, without wine or starters. And, er, apologies to those that thought this event was to be at Billabong. Had to make a last minute change in plans there. Long story.
Oh, OK. I can hear you. You want another one. So here goes:
Because he and Susie were going to live with Dad and Mum when they got married, Bill wanted Dad to build a new dunny (toilet) to replace the existing dilapidated one. Dad resisted the idea strongly. 'It's been good enough for Mum and me for all these years, so it's good enough for you and Susie.'
Bill was determined, so he fitted a fuse and a cap to a plug of gelignite, dropped it inot the dunny and retreated behind a stump to watch. He had just made it to the stump, when Dad came out of the kitchen and headed for the dunny. He rushed from behind the stump and yelled at Dad to save him from a disaster. But Dad thought he was trying to beat him to the dunny and put his head down and ran faster.
'You young blokes aren't as good as yer think you are,' he yelled. Dad got there first and had barely entered the building, when up it went. Ka-boom.
Bill rushed to Dad's aid and extricated him from the wreckage.
'Are you all right, Dad?' he asked.
'I'm all right son, but stone the crows yer mother would have been annoyed if I'd let that one go in the kitchen.'
During the rural recession, Bob got a job working a signal post on the Cairns to Townsville line. After a couple of weeks, there was a spot inspection by the local boss. 'What would you do if you had two trains coming at each other on the same line?'
Bob replied, 'I'd put all the lights on red and stop them.'
'Your lights are out of action,' says the inspector, 'what now?'
'I'd fire the flares,' said Bob.
'They're damp and won't work,' snarls the inspector, 'and by this time the trains are really close.'
'Well,' says Bob, 'as a last resort I'd go and get Anne.'
'What could she do?' growls the inspector.
'Nothing,' replies Bob, 'but she's never seen a train crash before.'
A woman is reading Cosmopolitan on a Melbourne train. She is so astonished by a story on life expectancy that she turns to the stranger beside her and says, 'Do you know that every time I breathe, somebody dies?'
'Fascinating,' he answered, 'Ever tried mouthwash?'
When Australia got its space program going up the Cape, the scientists decided to send up three Aussie astronauts with a monkey. Before blast off, each was given an envelope, not to be opened until they'd got into orbit. Everything went pretty well, so they opened their envelopes.
The monkey's letter listed his tasks:
1. Recheck fuel supplies.
2. Review the instrument panel.
3. Adjust the solar power.
4. Recycle all urine for drinking purposes.
5. Check the automatic guiding systems.
6. Conduct the ten scientific experiments outlined on the next page.
The three astronauts opened their letters containing identical instructions.
'Don't forget to feed the monkey.'